An Inviting Concept: Thoughts for Parashat Naso, May 31, 2014
A Judeo-Spanish proverb advises: Va ande te llaman y no ande te queren. Go where you are invited, not where you are (or think you are) wanted. Wait for a formal invitation; do not assume that you are welcome unless you are invited. If one shows up without having been invited, this creates an unpleasant social situation that is embarrassing to host and guest alike.
This proverb reflects a sense of propriety and respectfulness. A person should not impose him/herself on others. Likewise, a person who wants someone present should take the trouble to actually invite him/her. Just as one should not assume he/she is invited, so the host should not assume that the person will attend without an invitation.